Sometimes You Have to Fail Before You’re Ready to Succeed

Failure is something we are often taught to see as a bad thing. For me, it is something I usually tuck away and don’t talk about.

There is one particular failure that I don’t think I have told many people about, other than my parents knowing. I failed the FE exam three times before I finally passed it. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but it was also something I shrugged off without giving it much thought.

Why?

Probably because I wasn’t ready to be an engineer.

I covered some of this in my second blog post, What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Civil Engineer. At the time, I just didn’t know what my purpose was or what I really wanted to do with my career.

Not knowing what I wanted translated into not putting in the effort I needed to pass the FE exam.

The first time I didn’t pass the exam was in college. Leading up to the exam, I was so focused on my studies, taking extra credits, and running track that I didn’t really have time to open a book and work through problems for the exam. I walked into that exam without much expectation, but I also didn’t have much focus.

When I was notified that I didn’t pass, I wasn’t really surprised.

It hurts to fail, but I think it hurts even more when you aren’t sure that this is what you really want.

The second time I didn’t pass was probably the most embarrassing. I didn’t even take the exam because I forgot my driver’s license. To be honest, I’m not sure I would have passed anyway because I didn’t prepared.

Again, I didn’t really figure out that this was what I wanted.

The third time I took the FE exam, I actually did study. But I wasn’t focused on the right material, and my heart wasn’t really in it. I didn’t have the same desire to pass that I would eventually have.

That was a tough one.

After failing multiple times, you start to wonder if you should just give up.

A few years went by without me completing the first part of the process toward becoming a licensed professional engineer. Then my boss at the time said something that stuck with me, even though it wasn’t particularly inspiring:

“If you want to be an engineer, you really need your professional license.”

This was also around the time I started to understand the impact an engineer could make. I was working on a project that really mattered to me. I was starting to see engineering differently.

The exam wasn’t the reason I had failed. My lack of preparation was. My lack of purpose was.

But the reason I wasn’t preparing was that I didn’t really figure out what I wanted.

So, for the fourth time, it was time to focus.

I was about seven years into my career at this point and was one of the few engineers around me who hadn’t even completed the FE. Many of my colleagues already had their professional licenses.

So I decided to really focus and get help.

I took a study course that helped bring my attention to the things that actually mattered. Sometimes you need that. Sometimes you need a mentor, teacher, or someone with experience to help bring you back on track and show you what you need to focus on.

That course did it for me.

Going from failing three times, I walked into that fourth FE exam with confidence.

But I didn’t just have confidence.

I had a purpose. I finally knew what I wanted.

At the time, the FE exam was broken into two four-hour sessions, and you weren’t able to leave with 30 minutes remaining. On that day, I finished the first part and was able to leave, walk around, and eat lunch for almost two hours. I was confident that I had done well.

For the second part of the exam, I finished in less than three hours. I probably got home before most people had even finished the exam for the day.

I finally passed the FE exam.

Looking back, I don’t think passing that exam was just about finally studying the right material. It was a sign that something had changed. I was finally ready to become an engineer.

Six months later, I was able to take the PE exam.

I took the same study course and went into the exam with a completely different mindset. I was focused. I knew what I wanted. And for the first time, I actually enjoyed studying for an engineering exam.

Unlike the FE exam, which I had dreaded three times before, I was excited to take the PE exam because I was ready to be an engineer.

With the guidance of the study course, which helped me focus on what I needed to know, I finished the exam in under five hours, with three hours of testing time still remaining.

I walked out of that exam knowing I had passed.

This is a story I don’t share lightly. I am not particularly proud of failing the FE exam three times. But looking back, I also don’t think those failures were wasted.

Failure gave me a lesson.

It gave me grit. It gave me confidence to go after the things I wanted. And, eventually, it gave me the courage to share this story.

I don’t think failing the FE three times was the worst thing that happened to me. It may have been one of the things I needed to go through to understand why I wanted to become an engineer in the first place.

Sometimes you don’t know what you want when you start your career.

Sometimes it takes a few failures, a few wrong turns, and a few people to help you get back on track.

If you don’t experience failure, you may never know what true success feels like.

I wasn’t ready to be an engineer when I first took the FE exam.

But eventually, I was.